You Need Surgery...
When you find out you need to have surgery, it sucks. It sucks even more when it is about the 20th time you heard it in your 32 years. As a kid hearing "you need surgery" meant being away from my friends and out of school, stuck in bed and bored. The pain of the surgery and recovery was never what I was afraid of , it was always being away from everything; missing out.
Now What?
As an adult, mother, wife, and teacher hearing "you need surgery" sucks in a whole different way. First off there is money, how do I stay out of work for 12 weeks without getting paid? Since I am the breadwinner in the family, carrying the insurance, 529, 403B, and retirement this is a MAJOR concern that needs to be addressed immediately (thank God for short-term disability). Secondly, how do I take care of my two and half year old when I can't walk? Luckily Alice is pretty self-sufficient and amazingly brilliant (like her mother) so I am hoping she will adjust okay and smoothly transition to being my helper. As a teacher you can't just walk away for 12 weeks, there is planning and organizing that must be done. Then there is the worry about who is going to cook, clean, and generally take care of the house. You know the saying, no one notices when you do something, but they notice when you don't.
Boredom
What am I going to do sitting on my ass for 12 weeks other than fight every craving I have in order to try to NOT gain wait (goodbye carbs and sugar, we will reunite soon). My current Netflix addiction is creeping into my reading time so instead of adding to my que, I am making a reading list (any suggestions?). Thankfully I am apparently nocturnal these days and sleeping all day really helps it go by pretty fast.
The Bright Side
All this sacrifice can't be for not, right? The hope is to no longer be in pain. It is almost unimaginable since I have been in pain for over 3 years. Also, since I am having surgery in February I should be (almost) healed by May which in New England is a month to spend outside and looked forward to all winter. I want to enjoy going to the park with Alice, the zoo, walks, the beach, all the things we only have 5 warm months to do.
Prepare
Well, I have a week to prepare for the surgery. This means going to appointments (can't have my hair looking bad while I'm in bed, right, and don't even mention my eyebrows). Placing a bed downstairs since there is no way I can walk upstairs to my bedroom. Making some pre-made crock pot meals to freeze so Alice isn't subjected to 12 weeks of grilled cheeses. Packing for the hospital, and consistently stressing about every possible outcome (it's pretty time consuming).
Even though there is no doubt about it, having surgery of any kind sucks, but I really shouldn't be complaining. When I was born my mother was told it would be impossible for me to walk or lead a 'normal' life. Here I am walking, working, a wife, a mother and grad student. I was a cheerleader my whole adolescence and went to every dance (including 4 proms), got my driver's license on the first try, was a band groupie throughout my 20's. But, most importantly the first to go to college (and graduate) in my family, I am THE IMPOSSIBLE GIRL!
